No Baby- day 37

I started my period yesterday and I have to say, I've very sad. I really, really thought this was our month. We were both really disappointed yesterday, we just sat in silence for a few minutes hugging. In the grand scheme of things, we have not being "trying" for very long (four months), but man oh man, when you want a baby, it feels long!

After letting myself be sad, I woke up with a refreshed attitude. I remember that control isn't real, and God's got this. I thought of  a few reasons why now might not be the time, like the back injury I'm wanting to get some answers on, enjoying some solo adult-time with Andrew, and enjoying Henry as a single child for a little while longer. 

One of the biggest mistakes I made in my early-mid twenties was rushing through life to get to "big milestone" moments. Rush through dating to get engaged, rush through planning to get married, rush through the week to get to the weekend, rush through this time of calm to get to something exciting. I always felt like life was so short and I want what I wanted, and I wanted it NOW.

I have come to realize that life is much longer than we give it credit for. I remember once when travel plans got ruined, someone reminded me, "Italy isn't going anywhere." And I was like, "Huh... I guess you're right...I can just go...later." I don't know why, but that always stuck with me. Just because it passed you by in a moment, doesn't mean it is gone for good. 

 We have plenty of time to have children, God-willing, biological and adopted. 

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