Peyton Kathleen

I bought a zen journal to help me come up with things to write about in this “journal”, and today the reflection was: When you think of someone you hate, imagine that person clearly, then repeat the mantra, “not two, not two...” Meaning, there isn’t a you and me, there is only an us. Letting go of ego and acknowledging, “I’m not better than you, I am you. You’re not better than me, you are me.” It removes the ability to see someone as subhuman, and enables us to recognize their humanity.  Take it a step further, and think of what redeemable qualities you know that have:  They care for their dog.. They respect their mom.. They want to love and be loved.. This practice of mindfulness reduces hate in your heart and invites in healing, which is good for me, for you, for us.

  1. What’s your favorite way to spend a day off?      Wow, I can't believe I am actually going to say this, but I love on days off getting to workout in the afternoons. I have much more energy and strength. 2. What type of music are you into?      Fall Out Boy, Justin Bieber, Harry Styles always on rotation 3. What was the best vacation you ever took and why?      I have been on a lot of really wonderful trips, but going to Paris with my mom and sister will always be my favorite. If I have a daughter (or two!) I would love to recreate that trip.  4. Where’s the next place on your travel bucket list and why?      I want to go to Glacier National Park. 5. What are your hobbies, and how did you get into them?      Reading and writing; one taught me to escape, the other taught me to come back.  6. What was your favorite age growing up?      I had a really fun Senior year of high school....

 "One of the hardest things for traumatized people is to confront their shame about the way they behaved." "It is hard enough to face the suffering that has been inflicted by others, but deep down, many traumatized people are even more haunted by the shame they feel about what they themselves did or did not do under the circumstances. They despise themselves for how terrified, dependent, excited, or enraged they felt." "Trauma affects the imagination. Without imagination, there is no hope, no chance to envision a better future, no place to go, no goal to reach." "Trauma is the ultimate experience of "this will last forever." "Over the years our research team has repeatedly found that chronic emotional abuse and neglect can be just as devastating as physical abuse and molestation...Not being seen, not being known, and having nowhere to turn to feel safe is devastating at any age, but is particularly destructive for young children, who ar...

For My Hair: Olaplex No. 7 Bonding Oil     - I'M OBSESSED WITH THIS product and I can't believe I am just now using it! Omg the silk, the shine, the strength... I'm in love Prenatal Vitamins     -  I have been bleaching my hair since I was 16 and have never taken great care of it, but when I was pregnant I started taking Prenatal Vitamins and WOW. It make such an impact on my hair. I still take prenatal vitamins because I was nursing, and am now trying to get pregnant. I have no idea if you should take them regularly otherwise, but I love them.  Clothing/Accessories: I have an untapped market if any influencers are interested: I need an influencer who has to buy clothes and shoes and wear them to work in a conservative working environment. If there is anyone like that I should follow, let me know Kate Spade Dupe Necklace from Amazon     - I think this necklace was cute and it was $12 compared to $60! I'm super happy with it.  KellParker shoe ...

Sometimes I look back on how I behaved the year following my husband leaving me, and I judge that girl. Why couldn't you pick yourself up? Was it really THAT BAD? Did you have to behave like such an absolute beast? But after going through this experience the last week, it has reminded me of how absolute pain is. How pain and sadness and worry and angst won't loosen its grip on you, even for a second. It has reminded me of how worry robs all your space for creativity and forward thinking. Grief is all encompassing, isolating, and numbing.  The difference now is I have a solid partner by my side, who is in this sadness with me, yet is my firm ground to stand on. Instead of causing me this pain, he is enduring it with me.  Today when I got the bad news, I sobbed in front of coworkers, stared at a wall mindlessly, felt out of body as I left work early and drove home. I immediately thought of the girl who I was 4 years ago. How my brain could barely function, how I didn't even ...

Something that has been on my mind a lot lately:     My sister What do I think about my daily habits:     I should prepare for the next day in the evening more, but other than that I'm pretty happy with my              habits. What am I willing to sacrifice to have my dream life?     TBH, I'm living my dream life, which scares me to even write because I don't want to jinx it.  What makes me like like someone immediately?     Someone who is funny and asks a lot of questions Three things that make me proud:     1. any time I can make someone laugh 2. seeing my students learn something new 3. being married to           Andrew What is the most important thing to me right now?     My relationships What is my most reoccurring feeling?     Contentment  How do I want to feel on a daily basis?     Just like this :) What do I lik...

I can’t think of anything to say today that’s my own. This has been a difficult week, but for reasons that aren’t mine to share. Whether it’s a husband, sister, child, parent, or friend, watching someone else go through pain and difficulty can awaken our true sense of helplessness in this world. It’s a reminder that control is only an illusion.