European Film Class 2007-2008

 TRIGGER WARNING: Violence/Rape

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I've worked in the Texas Public School System for eight years and am very familiar with the standards teachers are expected to meet. You can't just read whatever you want or teach whatever you please. There is curriculum that is approved and must be adhered to. There are walk-throughs from our admin to ensure our standard is being met. A lot of top-down orders that are taken seriously.

Private schools- I have no idea what goes on there. As I look back at my time in the private school system- I genuinely wonder what was going on. Was there accountability? Were there any standards that had to be met? Surely there were some? My geometry class seemed normal, my chemistry class ran smoothly, even my theology classes had workbooks and tests that needed preparing for. However, the extra curricular class I took my Senior year, European Film, was a complete shit show. 

There is a certain teacher archetype I think we have all encountered. The "edgy" teacher who challenged the status quo, was controversial, was always pushing the envelope. And through naïve teenage eyes, we think this person is revolutionary and interesting and finally! Someone treating us like an adult; a peer even!

But now, with my seasoned eyes, I can see that this type of teacher is depraved. They get off on stripping away innocence, on making teenagers uncomfortable, on using their position of power to shock and unnerve. 

Mr. Hughes was that teacher. He was a pseudointellectual who fed his ego by saying something blatantly controversial and getting a rise out of students. It made him feel powerful when he got under your skin.   

In European Film, I don't believe there was curriculum, or standards, or expectations. I truly believe no one cared about what Hughes exposed us to in that class, and that neglect lead to one of the most traumatic moments of my young adult life.

We came into class to watch a Swedish film called Virgin Spring. It was black and white, and we probably had to read subtitles, I can't really remember. But what I do remember, shot for shot, was the violent rape scene he had us watch. I remember two men, pinning down a struggling, screaming girl, spreading her legs, penetrating her...then killing her. Nothing was left to the viewers imagination. It was all played out in horrifying realness. 

I was in the third row, toward the middle. I saw a guy in my class turn away from the screen with a tear rolling down his cheek. He didn't look back up the rest of class. 

We weren't prepared for that scene in anyway. Mr. Hughes gave no preface, no trigger warning, no option to leave the room if this viewing would upset you. Because he liked what it did to us. He was enjoying the pain it was causing our young hearts. 

Hughes violated me. He violated us.