Unknown thesis

 "If you want to be a writer, you must do two things above all others: read a lot and write a lot." 

-Stephen King, A  Memoir of the Craft, page 145

This couldn't be more obvious, so I don't know why reading it felt like a major reality check. I want to be a writer, yet I find myself constantly being other things; a full time teacher and mother to a very active toddler. However, if I am being honest with myself, I am not nearly as focused as I ought to be. 

Instead of reading, I'll scroll mindlessly through TikTok (but my god, what a phenomenal app). 

Instead of writing, I'll do a New York Times crossword puzzle while half listening to a podcast.

My sister asked me when I thought my book would come out, and I told her when I turn 40. So nine years. I tell myself this is because no 31 year old has learned enough or done enough to be interesting, and I think other than a select few people, that holds pretty true. Plus Jessica Simpson was 40 when she put out Open Book and it was stunning. I also say nine years as an excuse for why I'm not making it happen right now. 

Where I am stuck:

I need to come up with the thesis for my writing. 

I saw a quote along the lines of  "if you can't find a book about the topic you want to read, write it yourself" and during my divorce I would've given anything to read an account of someone like me, so I wouldn't have felt so isolated and alone. I would like to write something about my experience with divorce, to be raw and real and honest. 

When I was being put though the divorce, I would sit alone in my studio apartment and google search:

"Why can't I stop being sad about my divorce"

"How can my ex move on when I'm so broken hearted"

"What to do when you're going through divorce"

And none of my searched bore anything of comfort to me. Everything was a bunch of bullshit about setting new goals and realizing your ex did you a favor (gross), I wanted someone to be honest and be like, "look, my ex left me and i was weak as fuck and sad and drank too much and couldn't focus and wanted to die and hated everyone and everything, "

I wanted something that knew pain and wasn't so obnoxiously positive. 

How do I write that? Where do I begin?

I started this year deciding to read more memoirs/autobiographies. So far I've finished Jessica Simpsons and Stephen Kings, started Barack Obama's and Claudia Oshry's (lol how insanely different are those two?) but now I'm wondering if I should shift gears and start reading more self improvement?

I also noticed that Jessica Simpson was heavily into therapy when writing her book. I have also heard that Howard Stern credits his interview style to his years of constant therapy. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to get back into the therapy world. 

The more I think about it, the more I think this nine year timeline sounds too short. I have a lot of work to do.